While Frankenstein's monster was constructed from the parts of multiple dead individuals, at least all his parts came from dudes. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Ford Falcon is an amalgamation of brands that will keep both the DMV and the parts counter guy guessing, but will it and its price have you reaching for your pitchfork and torch?
Yesterday's custom 1987 Suzuki Samurai would be the perfect car if you had say 30 clowns to cart around, seeing as how small it is. Of course clowns are freaking terrifying and just the thought of being locked into that Suzuki with 30 of them is enough to put me off its purchase. For the less coulrophobic its price also was seen by 77% of you to suck, so it just wasn't having a good day on any account.
Let's move from evil clowns to Frankenstein's creature. You remember him, a sewn-together reanimate who, when he wasn't throwing little girls down wells was just looking to meet his maker? Today's 1962 Ford Falcon is much like Shelley's piecemeal protagonist, and the coolest part about it is that you don't have to go to the arctic to find it, nor hear some self-absorbed douchebag go on and on about it before he croaks. Instead you get me.
Cross pollination among automakers is nothing new, and in fact a lot of cool cars and trucks have been made so - or at least not fatally ruined - through the use of another maker's engine. That's not officially the case with this Falcon two-door, but the Mopar 318 that has amazingly found its way under its hood is still a pretty well respected mill.
Okay, so it's a mating of cross-twin rivals Chrysler and Ford, but that alone doth not a Frankenstein make, right? Well, adding to the mix is the fact that this Falcon, which was originally of unibody construction, is now riding on a frame that's said to be from a Nissan.
What kind of Nissan frame is that? Probably a pickup, after all what else would there be, and what would fit under there? Plus, 6-lug hubs! Along with the frame there's also a Nissan steering wheel that looks '80s creepy in this '60s sitcom of a car. The rest of the interior is also an odd mix of decades but at least you wouldn't be sitting on apple crates and turning the car with a Vice Grip clamped to the steering shaft.
Actually you wouldn't be driving it at all. That's because even though it's calmed to have the 318 with its 4bbl carb and 'oversize Cam' it is in need of a new transmission. Right now it apparently has a blown 904, so you may want to check and see if some donors available that could be surreptitiously liberated of such a slusher to get this Falcon back on the road.
That seems to be the biggest issue for this odd bodkin of a car. The ad claims it to be rust-free having spent its days (and nights) in Arizona. The body looks straight, although the decision to paint the bumpers isn't to my taste. On the inside those leather seats seem to be in good shape, and everything seems serviceable. Really, it seems to only be the gearbox that's keeping it off the road and out of the nightmares of both Ford and Mopar (and maybe Nissan) fanboys.
While Victor Frankenstein didn't ask the townsfolk for any renumeration for delivering unto them his creation, the seller of this Falcopar is asking $2,500 to take the beast off his hands. What's your take on this car and that price? Is this Frankensteinian Falcon worth those kind of beans? or, is this a creature with a price you wouldn't feature?
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