Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Conquest is a Flatty not a Fatty, lacking the latter's wide fenders and extroverted aero appendages. It also looks to be one of the nicest examples you might find, but does this Chrysler demand a fatty wallet to buy?

Speaking of fat, or phat as in in Pretty Hot and Tempting, yesterday's 13B up the butt 1970 VW Karmann Ghia proved to be neither. It's price, to 63% of you, also proved to be anything but. Look, I'm sure you're as tired of modified cars as I am, so let's go factory today, with something that you just don't see all that much any more.

This 1984 Chrysler Conquest comes from the era when Chrysler wasn't just sharing cars across all three of its car brands - Dodge, Chrysler, and ('member me?) Plymouth - but names as well. That's why, at the time, you could buy a Conquest at any of the Pentastar brand's dealerships, regardless of denomination.

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You could also have bought the car at a Mitsubishi store as well back then, as under its almost nonexistence disguise, the Conquest was a Starion. This one seems to have had ALL its badges removed making it even more oblique as to its origin, That's not a huge job, as I believe they were all either glued-on rubber or plastic. Regardless, what's left is a pretty clean car in Mezzon Gold, and with a turbo mill under its long, long hood.

That engine is a 150-bhp version of Mitsu's G54B, and at 2,555-ccs it's pretty honking' big for a four-banger. It's a SOHC design, but does have a rather complicated head design with extra valves (like Honda's CVCC) for emissions control, and a rep for eating head gaskets. Behind the big four is a 5-speed stick, and power is sent back to an independent rear end.

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The seller says that this was once a California car. He also notes that at one time it lived in Europe so some of its 112,000 miles are actually kilometers. Now it's in Hotlanta, and is one of 30 or so Starion/Conquests that the seller claims to have owned over the years. That's a little OCD in my opinion, and perhaps warranting in an intervention- "Hi, my name's Paul and I'm a Starion addict." Hi Paul. Man, the coffee at those meetings is bad.

They say the first step in conquering your problem is admitting you have a problem. I don't seem any problem however, with this extremely clean Conquest. The only red flags raised in the ad are an aftermarket stereo - thus eliminating the enjoyment of the '80s chicklet-button factory unit - and a crack in the windshield that doesn't seem noticeable in the pics.

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Other than that, and what looks to be a little tear in the driver's perch, it's all biscuits and gravy here. The rest of the interior is all '80s angular and the car comes with door-mounted seat belts that you never really have to un-do. The outside is equally un-touched, aside from the missing badging and that gold color that is so plain jane that the cops wouldn't give the car a second glance.

What's the price tag for this original but slab-sided Conquest? Well, the seller says that this is a top-shelf example - and he should know having apparently owned all other in the U.S. at one time or another - and as such he admits to his $4,800 asking being on the high side. You'll need to decide if that's really a low ball, or if the seller himself is high for asking that much

You decide!

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Atlanta Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to indulf for the hookup!

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