Recently, it came to my attention that the Subaru BRZ owner's manual has made its way online. There are several complicated diagrams and lots of technical information inside, so I thought I'd provide my readers with a guide to some of the most important points about this new and exciting car.

Remote electrocution ability prevents Mr. Game and Watch from stealing your Subaru BRZ.

Do not let your guard down. Subaru BRZ is very hungry.


While not required for operation of the Subaru BRZ, be aware that every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Do not roll the Subaru BRZ onto its roof. This will enrage the Subaru BRZ.


No cutesy shit.

Subaru BRZ should not be used to tow horse trailers.


Not even if you push the trailer, smartass.

Eh, suit yourself.


Toyota and Subaru love you and want you to be happy.

This post was originally published by Slonie on March 14th, 2012. It was republished with permission. If you would like to see your story here, send us an email here with the link to your story and the subject line of "Syndication".