“Daaaaaaaamn,” says the sailor guy, with his lady friend, carrying a net full of sturgeon. “Look at that fine-ass Maico 500!”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaamn,” says his lady friend.

A trio of well-dressed libertines trots up, their attention caught by the blue glint of the Maico 500.

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“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn,” the chant in unison, their minds and bodies invigorated by the sound and smell of the little two-stroke.

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.”

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)