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Formula One is famous for racing in some of the most down-on-their-luck, hardscrabble, poverty-stricken places on earth. Like Monaco, or Abu Dhabi. Shit’s real out on those streets; even The Onion can see it.

Luckily, reader PatBateman knows how to help:

Care packages are being accepted for this family. Items of need are as follows:

Beluga caviar, cigars (real Cubans only, please), 100 year old scotch, fresh lobster tails, Kobe beef, gold bars, Louis Vuitton purses/wallets, and dog food.

Your donations are greatly appreciated and will be noted when the family can afford to buy back their hedge fund.

Won’t you help?

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