Okay, besides "spiders and other things that will kill you" and maybe also "dingoes" and "Steve Irwin" and "mysteriously disappearing Prime Minister," the first things everyone thinks of when they think of Australia are "vandalism" and "profanity." And here it is in hilarious, ridiculous spades.

Alright, so I will never, ever encourage vandalism. It's awful and ruins people's day and let's be honest, the vast, vast majority of graffiti is absolutely terrible and holds zero redeeming value as art. Not to say it is impossible to do well and be truly, incredibly beautiful, but spraying your crappy tag on public stuff that my hard-blogged dollars then have to pay for to be removed while I spend $112 goddamn dollars every month on my Metrocard will make me hate you forever and ever and ever, I'm convinced at least $100 of that $112 is going just to graffiti removal, I will never forget the day after trains started running again and you completely ruined the Masstransiscope, yes I know it's back now, but you ruined a Nice Thing for everyone.

Whew, that felt good. Just had to get it out.


Like I was saying, there is nothing more beloved and associated with Australia than train vandalism and strong profanity. So when you combine the two, hilarity ensues.


A charter train filled with train enthusiasts were celebrating the last run of a Hitachi-model train in Melbourne, when the train was stopped by up to thirty of the Youths, according to The Age:

One passenger told Fairfax Media that the vandals had "more than one accomplice on board", and were phoning each other to give "a progress report".

The passenger said the youths "jammed a brick under a train stop to halt it, pulled an air hose at the back to disable the train, then set to work".


Alright, so that's pretty serious. But the video that resulted, shot from the view of the passengers, shows them pouring water over the vandals (traditionally known to burn the skin of Australians), and screaming ridiculously Australian insults as the young hoodlums completely paint up the train. Choice examples include:

1) "Turdnugget"


2) "Oy!"

I love Australia.

H/t to Carscoops!