I think it’s the way we hear the intrepid anti-fire motorcyclist state that he “guarantees” that he can put out the fire with the motorcycle that makes this so appealing. The confidence, the casual bravado, one man, one motorcycle, one fire! It’s the stuff of dreams! And, he’s victorious! Almost.

Yes, you seemingly can put out a fire by driving all the hell over it on a motorcycle. But the resulting fire on the motorcycle itself may be why our fire departments don’t look more like a stunt team made of red Evel Knievels.

There’s probably a lesson here, but I think if you just generally avoid surrounding yourself in fire, that’s close enough. Also, listen to your friends when they yell “YOU ARE ON FIRE!”

Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.