Blip: Strange Mating Habits With Peugeots

Illustration for article titled Blip: Strange Mating Habits With Peugeots
Illustration: Peugeot

In the French-speaking Trans-Balsamic country of Chienmaison adolescent social traditions are very rigid and controlled. The primary dating tradition is known as the “voiture-L,” where two cars (preferably Peugeots) park perpendicularly, forming a 90 degree angle, and the two interested teens exit the cars and scream compliments at one another while their families sit in the car, angrily facing forward. This goes on for 15 minutes and afterwards the teens are returned home where they get berated and mocked by the whole family.

The next date the teens are allowed to have sex in a tent, should they so choose.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!:

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Jimmy and his family are on a Sunday drive. Jimmy is driving the family car, upset that his father is in the backseat, treating Jimmy as the chauffeur, barking directions at the poor kid, while his mom seems pissed at her husband’s “alpha male” bloviating.

But the situation at the next intersection quickly changes Jimmy’s life forever.

Susie stands by her father’s car with the “Come Hither” pose. Jimmy jumps out of his parents’ car, entranced by her seductive charms. Before his parents can stop him, Susie has lured Jimmy into her father’s car and they make a clean getaway to parts unknown.

Poor Jimmy will spend the rest of his life as Susie’s manservant and her family’s slave.