Better Than Everything at SEMA This Year: The Lada Samara

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

On its own, a Lamborghini Murcielago kicks the crap out of it. But as soon as you bolt a pair of amythyst-encrusted dubs on the damn thing, the Samara leaps to the forefront of awesomeness faster than Carl Lewis with a General Electric turbofan wedged in his booty and JATO units strapped to his considerable biceps. And you know for a fact that Asanti, Lexani, P. Diddy, or Shaniqua will do just that in the mammoth tire-and-wheel pukefest at this year's SEMA Show.

Meanwhile, in Soviet Domestic Market guise, the damn thing was originally known as "Sputnik," which is such a ridiculously awesome moniker that we once bestowed it upon a kitten at the age of ten. In contrast, the Murcielago is named after a bull named "Bat." And while bats and gats are cool, beeping spheres that instill fear in half the planet do sonar-having airborne rodents and Glock nines one better. Even with the male bovine quotient factored into contention. Wanna be a real balla? Roll correct in a goddamn Lada.

Lada Samara [Wikipedia]

Holiest of Holies! The Ladacamino! [Internal]

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Peter Orosz

My folks bought a Samara in 1987, back when you had to wait for years to get a new car in the Eastern Block. It cost less than the used Lada 2105 sedan they'd recently sold. Apart from the weird market, this probably also had to do with the rapidly declining build quality: the Samara started falling apart the day it was delivered. I was 7 at the time and ended up with a piece of plastic in my hand 10 seconds after I'd started examining it.