Back in 1958, West Germany’s most famous ventriloquist, Heinz Norplant, became the first person to ever use a car as a ventriloquist dummy, choosing a brand-new Opel Kapitan to be the host of his short-lived talk show, Das Chaos Des Kapitäns, a play on the term “Captain’s mess.” The show was cancelled after four episodes when it was realized that Norplant would end every interview with his guests by undertaking a long, detailed description of what he guessed their genitals looked and felt like.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)

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