And The Real Winner Is...

Illustration for article titled And The Real Winner Is...

It's not often that a LeMons team owns the Index Of Effluency discussion from start to finish, but the Fortress 1978 Oldsmobile 98 Regency Brougham has accomplished the feat.

For the 2010 season, the Index Of Effluency prize- given to the entry that accomplishes the most with the least- pays more nickels than the overall win: $1,501 versus the overall win's $1,500. General Motors continues its dominance of the IOE! Zero black flags, zero mechanical problems, and excellent lap times... all with an Olds 403 under the hood. Did we mention that they finished fifth overall? Congratulations, Team Fortress!

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C³ - Cool Cadillac Cat

A college GF had one of these to use, what was a light-green (and they were all light green, light blue, or white, it seemed) '77 Delta 88, it was her folks' old car, and her starting procedure was:

Plant the accelerator on the floor, crank it until it started, which may be four minutes, then keep it at redline for at least two minutes after it fired.

I still can't believe that car didn't intentionally strand her, somewhere.

I tried reasoning and explaining why this was wrong, on so many levels, and it went in one ear, out the other. We weren't together much longer, as you might imagine.