Alex's latest dispatch from the 2005 Bullrun rally, in which he participated as Team Polizei, driving a 2005 Mercedes/Renntech CL600 "Polizei Interceptor." Repeat after us, "It's a rally not a race, it's a rally not a race..."
Team Polizei's Alex Roy & Alli Joseph skipped the Bullrun Lingerie Party at the Las Vegas Palms in order to get some rest before pushing hard on Day 2. Expectations had been very high both for Team Polizei and our nemesis, Richard Rawlings, yet both of us had fallen short on the Bullrun's first day.
After a law-shredding battle with Emil Rensing (driving a Blue 2005 Lamborghini Gallardo), Team Polizei had squandered a commanding lead into Vegas by losing 20+ minutes during a 120-in-a-65 traffic stop by the Nevada Highway Patrol. In spite of this, Team Polizei retained its honor by achieving 5th place, whereas Herr Rawlings disgraced his family name when his $250,000 custom 1931 Ford Model A blew a tire near the LA Start Line.
The first day's win had been taken by the Hot Wheels-sponsored Red 1963 "Amy & Anton" Chevrolet Chevelle Convertible, who, unlike many rally drivers, had taken the time to prepare the car before the Bullrun and experienced no mechanical problems.
The beginning of the second day of the 2005 Bullrun highlighted the logistical difficulty of overnight rally stops in Las Vegas. Although hundreds of Bullrun fans gathered around the Venetian Hotel Valet to see the Bullrunners depart, hotel security was less than amused by the dozens of high-end sports cars blocking valet traffic.
Teenage tourists were split in their adoration of "Celebrity" Bullrunners Dennis Rodman and Hayden Christensen, but Team Polizei was less than impressed. Apparently Herr Rodman used to play some form of game involving running and balls, and Herr Christensen starred in a movie called Shattered Glass and some movie with Kevin Kline.
Team Polizei und Team Rodman
Although Team Polizei was first on the starting grid, rumors floated of a Lamborghini Murcielago-driving chiropractor from LA who'd left early to gain advantage. The "JATO"-liveried Lambo would prove a wily adversary in the coming days, often leaving early in order to steal the glory of arriving first at each checkpoint.
Team Polizei decided to exact vengeance and humiliation upon Team JATO, pulled out of the Venetian in second place, met a construction detour and turned the wrong way. Compounded with Team JATO's 10+ minute advantage, a law-crushing effort would be necessary to catch them.
The Bullrun/Bravo-network camera chopper followed us as we navigated our way Northeast out of the city towards the Grand Canyon — our first checkpoint.
Team Pollzei in front of that large hole in the ground
Team Polizei quickly exploited the dearth of commuter traffic and launched a blistering attack on Nevada traffic law. Like a superheated chainsaw through Camebert, the 2005 Mercedes/Renntech CL600 Polizei Interceptor easily pushed passed 165mph and outran the Bullrun TV chopper.
Several hours of high-speed cruising brought Team Polizei into contention for the Daily Top 3, but our planned lunch visit to the Grand Canyon was cut short when we spotted the JATO Lambo and Dennis Rodman's gold Gallardo leaving just as we arrived. We ate in record time, and, although Team Polizei feel deep kinship to "Natur und Kultur", we'd have to return another time to admire the Grand Canyon.
We soon passed the JATO Lambo, among many other Bullrunners who have much to learn about the performance of the various household appliances they brought on the rally....
Passing the lawnmowers from Italy
The Bullrun/Bravo chopper struggled to follow us as we took a shortcut through a town that must remain unnamed due to the following incident:
Team Polizei wanted not only to achieve official 1st place, but also to pass the cars that'd left so far in advance of us. A shortcut through a lightly populated area in Colorado looked promising, but would require a high-speed, on-road-debate between the law and Team Polizei's driving skill. 30+ minutes of Italian driving led to a meeting with the Colorado Highway Patrol. Team Polizei and the legendary Collins Brothers (in a Black Ferrari 550 Maranello) were pulled over together, and while we waited for our licenses to be processed, police scanner traffic indicated that someone also named Alex Roy had a long list of prior offenses. Luckily, the Officer was convinced of our innate goodness after I explained that Team Polizei was driving in support of the "Schloss und Schnitzel" Autobahn Polizei Charity, and that we were but a luggage car for the Rolls Royce Phantom still a few hours behind. The officer let us go with a warning, and we proceeded into town with great joy. Sadly, several Bullrunners had passed us during this incident — we would have to tread lightly as we attempted to pass in this highly trafficked area.
Colorado Highway Patrol admire the Team Polizei Interceptor
Police scanner traffic indicated 6+ Police Cars waiting for us ahead, and upon a mountain of amusement we sang a song of Schadenfraude in tribute to the Bullrun BMW 645i Convertible pulled over by local police. A second song was sung as we passed Team Polizei's nemesis Peter Malmstrom (and his supermodel girlfriend Landi) in his red Ferrari F40. They too were making new friends with the local police.
Team Polizei then broke one of the cardinal rules of driving and crested a hill at 10+ MPH over the limit. A local police car hit us with instant-on radar and pulled us over, along with Dennis Collins and the unlucky drivers of the BMW 645, who had the distinction of being pulled over twice in the same town.
We were once again passed by several Bullrunners, and although we escaped without a ticket, the two traffic stops deprived Team Polizei of its rightful victory upon arrival in Telluride.
Day 2 Results:
1st: Aston Martin DB9 - "Richard & Marek X"
2nd: JATO Lamborghini - "The Doctor"
3rd: Team Polizei - Alex Roy & Alli Joseph
Richard Rawlings was nowhere to be seen, again disgracing his family name. Although Team Polizei considered extending a hand of friendship during the 2005 Bullrun, the Rawlings "El Diablo Toro" Kit Car was unworthy even of grinding coffee, let alone its owner joining the Legendary Hall of Rally Heroes and sitting by Team Polizei's side as equals.
Team Polizei was again pleased to see the Texas-based Collins brothers drive quickly and safely, achieving 4th place via a close convoy strategy with the Polizei Interceptor.
We were also surprised at the extraordinarily quick performance of the Aston Martin DB9 team of Richard and Marek - first time rally driverd who pushed hard and achieved better results than many veterans.
Alex Roy s Bullrun 2005 Wrap-up, Day 1 [internal]