First, let's just get this out of the way. This V8 micro-Beetle is likely the Best In Show of the Los Angeles International Auto Show. Incredible power-to-weight ratio, classic styling, and, because it doesn't look like there's any way to actually get in and drive it, infinite fuel economy and zero emissions, since I also don't think it actually works. A triumph of engineering!

If anyone actually figures out how to sit in these chairs, please send in a photo. It took two booth professionals to help me untangle from three of the chairs when I tried.

There is plenty of advanced automotive tech present at the show, but it's shocking how much we've regressed in horn technology. Look at these amazing trumpets from the beautiful '40s-era Zephyr they had on display. The MKZ needs a pair of these, external and chrome.

Nissan's Deltawing racecar is pretty incredible, and it's worth looking carefully at the details if you can get to the LA show. Look at these taillights— I love how the LED pattern keeps the dramatic delta-shape theme.

Speaking of taillights, Jeep has by far the most well-armored center-mount brake light in the entire industry. So, if center stop-lamp ruggedness is your key purchasing criteria, a Jeep needs to be your next car.

I wonder if VW's casting call for their male booth professionals specified that they had to look like the bad kid in every teen movie from the '80s, or if that's just a fortunate douche side-effect.

Chevy's Volt isn't normally considered a performance car, but I think this new Superleggera version they showed will change all that.

If you're going to the show, make sure to check out the Morgan booth. Try and sit in a Morgan Plus 4 if possible. It's an incredible traditionall-built sports car, and it also has the most inconvenient, inaccessible HVAC and radio controls I've ever seen. Really, it's incredible. The radio comes with a remote, but to get to the heat or a/c you either need to have chimpanzee arms grafted on or a well-trained hamster than can sense when you're too cold or hot.


I have no idea what that trailer-taillight connector is doing under the dash, either. Or what went in those brackets.

You know how you believe that Henry Ford is dead and Santa Claus doesn't exist? You may want to rethink at least one of those ideas.

Sure, an Al Pacino as Scarface flame job looks great on some cars, but I'm holding out for an Al Pacino as blind guy from Scent of a Woman for my car.

This display of connecting rod sizes for a Toyota Camry, Tundra, and drag car is pretty fascinating, actually. They need to offer dragster con-rods as an option for the Camry.

You've got to hand it to the Taylor-Dunn marketing people. They had booths all over the show, cleverly designed to look like normal maintenance areas. Very clever, TD! And those booth professional outfits look JUST LIKE the maintenance workers'!

Mini calls these "mirror covers." Bullshit. I know awesome racing helmets for small-breed dogs when I see 'em!

Someone told me this lovely little racing Datsun is owned by Adam Carolla. Which makes me feel very conflicted. I've got a lot of growing up to do.

I kept trying to convince the Chrysler people they needed to move some of their elegant booth professionals over to this vehicle. I'm guessing they'll do just that.