Driving fast can be a difficult task that requires tremendous skill. Sometimes it seems that driving very very slowly and stopping can be just as stressful and dangerous. Here are Jalopnik readers' picks for the ten worst parking jobs ever caught on video.
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Photo Credit: St. Albans Police Department
10.) The World's Most Drastic Parallel Parking Job
Suggested By: Brian1321
What the…?: It is both a miracle and a testament to Swabian build integrity that this Porsche driver is able to walk away from an Olympic-grade tumble and wall vault. We're not sure how he's going to explain this to his insurance company or the owner of the car he tagged.
9.) I Just Need To Run In Here For A Second....
Suggested By: Wolc
What the…?: Kseniya Sobchak, daughter of the former mayor of St. Petersburg and Russian celebutante extraordinaire, claims that the heel of her shoe got caught or twisted or something and then hit the accelerator and that's how her BMW X5 ended up in a cell phone shop. Too bad it wasn't a shoe shop; she could have picked up something more pedal-friendly.
8.) The Truth About Smart Cars And Parking
Suggested By: DasWauto
What the…?: When a Smart car owner is cornered by inquiries about why they would buy such a creation, the very defensive answers often sounds like, "Oh, it's so convenient! I can park wherever I want! And it's great in the city! And easy to park! And parking!"
Exhibit A for the prosecution.
7.) You Write the Ticket, I'll Go Get Doughnuts
Suggested By: RazoE
What the…?: Ask a police officer what the most stressful part of the job is, and there's a pretty good chance the answer will be a traffic stop. There's an inherent uncertainty, people react unpredictably, a small situation could blow up into something much bigger and more dangerous. These things are always on the mind.
That's no excuse to not make sure your cruiser is in Park, though.
6.) Asian Languages 340: Vernacular Singaporese
Suggested By: Fathi_Haziq
What the…?: Waiting out the world's most tentative and nervous parker would be a nerve-grating experience if it wasn't for the half-supportive, half-bitterly-sarcastic play-by-play of the narrator. The subtitles are an added bonus for those of us not familiar with Southeast Asian-inflected English.
5.) THIS Is Why You Turned
Suggested By: valdaviper1
What the…?: A palate cleanser before we get to the serious brutality, we admit that this PMY Civic actually pulls off one of the best parking jobs we've ever seen. We 're also glad we're not on the hook for his tire and clutch replacement costs.
4.) Just Try To Get A Spot Close To The Door....
Suggested By: Brian, The Life of
What the…?: In his book Country Driving, longtime China-based journalist Peter Hessler describes the chaos in a society suddenly coming to grips with the automobile. It's a wonderful piece of writing, but if you're pressed for time these 33 seconds cover much of it.
3.) Rolling Home
Suggested By: LyleLanley
What the…?: Engineers spend plenty of time thinking about polar moment of inertia in a car, which is a way of measuring how quickly a car will rotate around its center of mass.
However, those considerations usually apply to action in the yaw plane, not roll. That may be more a matter of concern after this incident.
2.) Quit While You're Not Too Far Behind
Suggested By: DannyBN
What the…?: Any accident, even a minor parking lot bump, can trigger something close to an anxiety attack. The key is to just stop, get composed, and check to see what happened without causing further damage.
This person clearly did not do this.
1.) Everyone Needs A Helping Hand Sometimes
Suggested By: Blze001
What the…?: It's one thing to curse out some hypertentative parker who can't seem to remember the dynamics of backing in (or nosing in, if preferred). Sure, sit there and say how you could do it in your sleep and so on. Did you ever think to get out there and be nice about it and help? The person's obviously having a bad day, and these little things mean so much.
Although having it caught on camera is just kind of embarrassing. Discretion is the better part of valor.