Avast, when our own Capt'n went a-walkabout on the far shores of Flat Rock in the cave where the Mustangs are made, he did come back right excited, producing the scenario Swine future-casts below:

March 8, 2012 Flat Rock, MI - Ray Wert, Editor-In-Chief of Jalopnik has been summonsed to pay child support for 25 new Ford Focus ST's which were birthed after a rampant dragoning spree on a line of Boss 302's in June. His shameful antics are neither condoned by, or endorsed by Ford Motor Company or it's affiliates. When reached for comment Ray forwarded our requests to the Gawker Media attorneys who simply replied: Because racecar