There are a lot of stories that I've loved on Jalopnik since we started nine years ago, but this is the one I wish I'd written. There are burnouts. There are donuts... of the eating variety. There's food. There's a big sugar crash. It has everything I love.

Presented below is the story, with all of the photos now in high res. Think of this as the remastered Dolby Digital version of Sam Smith and John Krewson's epic adventure in the Cadillac CTS-V. Sit back and relax, this is a long one, but a damn good one.