Attention, puppet dictators and petty-tyrants-in-training: Your junta ain't complete without a 60-ton, Vietnam-era amphibious landing craft. The Buy It Now price almost seems like a bargain. Is there anything that four continuous-rpm Detroit Diesels can't do?

The answer, of course, is no. And by anything, we mean anything. This sucker'll crank out 15.2 mph on land, 6.52 knots in water, and — get this — only drops to 6.08 knots when filled with a 60-ton load. It weighs 194,000 pounds dry, takes 300 gallons of hydraulic oil, and was recently renovated by the U.S. military. For the rock-bottom price of $125,000, it can be yours. The rest of the mind-warping stats (60 percent grade? 25 degrees below zero? Why not?) can be found by clicking on the image below.

Too bad Chrismakwanzakkah is over. We're thankful and all, but this would've beat the hell out of a couple of ties.