What is it with superstar atheletes that won't stay retired? When word leaked out today that Michael Schumacher was in talks with Mercedes-Benz regarding his return to Formula 1, our hearts sank. Where sports are concerned, we've always found ourselves drawn to those who knew when to quit, those who accepted defeat graciously, those who didn't engage in lame-ass stunts in order to get ahead. Schumacher was — and make no mistake, could probably still be — a dominant force in F1, but his time has passed. The Unstoppable German Juggernaut has come and gone, and frankly, the man's absence has made the sport more interesting.

Just when we were trying to figure out why the Schu won't simply disappear into his Swiss chalet and leave our sport alone, mr_dude provided perspective. He commented on the topic with all the shrugging indifference that it deserves:

"So what? All retired people drive mercs."

Short, sweet, and to the point. Now stay at home, Mike. Go dominate something else — baseball, perhaps?