In the history of celebrity name changes, which includes great moments such as when a young Raymond Wertokowitzckiberg became our own Ray Wert, few stand out as so awe-inspiring as the sudden transition for a young English musician from Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner to merely Sting. According to Sting, the change came while playing with a group called the Phoenix Jazzmen. Gordon showed up to the concert wearing a black-and-yellow sweater that, remarked the frontman, made Gordy look like a bee. With that switch young Gordon went from being a scrawny bass player to tantric sex/music superstar. In fact, had it not been for that name change we might still associate the word "sting" with the series of notes played by a drummer to signify a joke (also known as a rimshot). Today we thought our take on GM's mystery Important Announcement was hilarious, but Ash78's comment was worthy of an even bigger sting.
In order to save money, GM will now stop offering Heinz Fancy Ketchup packets in employee lunchrooms; workers will now be forced to share jars of Hunts Ketchup or Catsup? I think GM's been working on a hybrid of the two for the past 30 years—it's called Catchup.
Now listen to this. [Photo by Vince Bucci/Getty Images]