Nice Price Or Crack Pipe: 500-Horsepower 2007 Mercedes-Benz R63 AMG For $48,991?

Illustration for article titled Nice Price Or Crack Pipe: 500-Horsepower 2007 Mercedes-Benz R63 AMG For $48,991?
Nice Price Or No DiceIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

A landslide 92% of voters thought that $15,000 was a truly Nice Price for the 1967 Fiat Dino, and we can't argue with that. Today we're going to look at the wondrous effects of depreciation.


Back in '06, when Mercedes-Benz unveiled the 2007 R63 AMG über-minivan, we were all impressed. After all, 503 horsepower in a minivan? The original sticker price on one of these mall-parking-lot-dominatin' babies was a stunning 95 grand… but then gas prices went crazy, the economy went sour, and you know the rest. Now, just a couple years down the line, it's possible to get yourself an R63 AMG with 21,000 miles on the clock for a bit more than half the original price: $48,991. Goatrope, our tipster on this one, describes the situation quite eloquently:

Over 500 HP awd 7-seat station wagon with options out the wazoo. Original sticker was $94,820; but it now for the low-low price of $48,991.
It only has 21,019 miles on it with remaining factory warranty - plus possibly a Certified Pre-Owned warranty on top of that. The original owner took a depreciation hit of $2.18 per mile - which makes the fuel cost relatively cheap.
So for the price of a new, stripped down R-Class which nobody wants to buy, you can have a low-mileage, 500+ HP beast (which absolutely nobody bought) with a warranty. Exclusive, unloved, and insanely powered.


So, whaddya think? Is that a pretty good price, or is this the time to put Autobahn Motors' nodules in the vise and turn the crank a few times- check out the beads of sweat breaking out on the salesman's brow!- see if you can get that price down into the 30s? You get too cheap, though, you might miss out!
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Second-row entertainment system doesn't sell it for me, it's the front-row entertainment that matters. And it's still not good enough.

500 horsepower is an awful lot of ponies for any ride short of a Caterpillar or the Nimitz, and AMG really rocks the MB product line when it comes to upgrades. But when you come right down to it, nothing will ever change the fact that you're sticking your foot deep into a reserve of minivan muscle. And that's just not good. It might have the stickiest rrack shoes on, but it's still an elephant in the shoes. Nimble, but ponderously so. It's got a big nose, a big middle and a great big ass that I would be ashamed to be hauling with any kind of alacrity.

This is a car intended for people who can afford to be indecisive. It is neither a sports car nor a minivan, not beautiful or ugly. If it were ice cream, it would be Neapolitan.

It is a crack pipe at any price.