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Try Your Hand At The Toyota Boredom Haiku Contest, Win Glory And Recognition!

Illustration for article titled Try Your Hand At The Toyota Boredom Haiku Contest, Win Glory And Recognition!

Last week's GM Downward Spiral Haiku Contest produced so many works of genius that we have no choice but to give our poets another shot.


There's no way I'll be giving up my copy of Cars Of The Soviet Union: The Definitive Guide as a prize this time, so you'll be competing for the respect of your fellow commenters this time. Before we proceed, let's admire the winning GM Downward Spiral haiku by smalleyxb122:

Morning dew glistens
A salesman weeps silently
Hummers left unsold

Seeing the company that brought us the small-block Chevrolet engine and the Buick GNX brought to its knees brings tears to our eyes, but Toyota's relentless, decades-long purging of anything resembling character from its products hurts just as much. We can only imagine what might have been, had Toyota continued with the sort of gorgeous styling they pulled off with the 2000GT (or even the goofy angles of the Tercel 4WD wagon) while still getting the engineering and build quality to their current stratospheric levels. Instead, the tedium of endless board meetings and focus groups has leached the life force right out of most of Toyota's machines, leaving us with transportation appliances. You can see where this is going, right? We joke about boring Toyotas every day, so now it's Toyota Ennui Haiku time! Here's one to get us started:

Sky Blue Pearl Camry
It lasts for eternity
Death will release me

For inspiration, we'll have a song by a Japanese band that would no doubt be deported immediately if Toyota's current leadership had any say in the matter.

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Leeeeena the Jalopchick

Toyota's blandness

forced Japanese to react

with bosozoku