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Commenter Of The Day: Not Every Actor Can Direct Edition

Illustration for article titled Commenter Of The Day: Not Every Actor Can Direct Edition

Orson Welles and Woody Allen are both writer/actors/performers appreciated by most for doing all three things well. Ben Affleck, surprisingly, isn't a bad director. Clint Eastwood manages to dabble in so many different genres it's almost freaky. But not every actor can direct. Proof? The film Men At Work, which was written and directed by Emilio Estevez (who also stars in the film). It's fairly shoddy film making, but it was on the USA Network once a day during my childhood so I've seen it a few times. The story of a crime-solving license plate scanner could make a good film some day, and maybe even spiegel could write it. Let's just hope he doesn't direct.



O: DC Metro 911 emergency, what seems to be the problem Mr....Spiegel Hernandez.

S: Oh good, hello. I've just been mugged! My name is—wait how did you know my name?

O: We checked your phone records and cross referenced the number with the one you're calling from, now you're in the corner of 13th and H-street, correct?

S: Wait how did you—

O: The call was triangulated based on the position of the cell towers around you and we confirmed it by looking at the traffic camera right behind you, near the light pole.

S: Wow I didn't know you could—

O: Sir, I've gone ahead and deactivated your cards so the mugger won't use them. Well it wouldn't matter since your credit card is at its limit...why are you paying for 4 World of Warcraft subscriptions?

S: Wait, you can do that? Why are you checking my—

O: Oh I see, you're paying the subscription of the clerk of the coffee shop you frequent in the hopes she likes you back...and her kids subscriptions as well? Sir I don't think that's going to work.

S: How the hell do you know which coffee shop I go to?

O: We have your urine sample results from your last doctor's visit 3 weeks ago, also you sodium is a little high.

S: Now hold on one damn minute you—

O: Probably from eating all those Big Macs...They're in the records as well.


O: It looks like the mugger has been caught 5 blocks off from where you are, an officer will come around with your belongings shortly, is there anything else you need today Mr. Hernandez?

S: How do you have the right to—

O: Patriot Act.

S: Oh...

O: Have a good day. *click*

Also, everyone use the #cotdnomination tag so I don't keep picking Spiegel, who nominated himself.

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Congratulations, Mr. Spiegel, on the hilarious COTD! I have for you a classic Camaro to be delivered by this lovely lady who will be tooting your horn all the way. Yay, Spiegel!