What Would An 'Apple Car' Actually Look Like?

Illustration for article titled What Would An 'Apple Car' Actually Look Like?

Journalists and pundits love speculating about an "Apple Car" as if that's something that could just happen, magically, overnight. Steve Jobs liked cars. He liked good design. What would happen if his company actually designed a car?

One abiding precept for Apple products is manageable size. The original Macintosh was radically compact compared to the IBM-based PCs of its day. Consider the comfortable size of any iPod, or the implied resistance of iPhone designers to a quick bigger-is-better change. Any Apple car would be on the small side, which would be a welcome change in this age of model bloat.


What would make sense for a car from Cupertino? Would it be awful? Would it would be awesome? Leave your different thoughts in the comments below.

(QOTD is your chance to address the day's most pressing automotive questions and to experience the opinions of the insightful insiders, practicing pundits, and gleeful gearheads that make up the Jalopnik commentariat. If you've got a suggestion for a good Question of the Day, send an email to tips at jalopnik dot com.)

Photo Credit: Apple

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An Apple Car, you ask? Let me check my crystal ball...

1) The hood would be bolted down with proprietary heads on the bolts so that you can't get in there, not even to refill your own windshield wiper fluid.

2) The entire body would be fiberglass (including the windows, which would simply be translucent sections of the fiberglass) and only come in Black. Rumors will circulate about a possible white version that will never materialize.

3) It might have external accents, but rather than chrome your only option will be brushed aluminum.

4) The engine will not start unless the driver's seat belt has been fastened. There will be sensors in every other seat and if a passenger is detected but no seat belt is found to be engaged the car still won't start. No explanation will be given to the driver as to why the engine won't turn over.

5) At some point Jony Ive will be heard to say: "Aerodynamics? Why would I bother with such a frivolity? It would ruin the smooth, industrial design!"

6) If you don't hold the steering wheel at perfect 10 and 2 position the car will list wildly to one direction at random.

7) There will be no option for a manual gearbox.

8) Upon purchasing the Apple iCar you fill find that the center console is actually just a large dock for an iPad. If you do not own an iPad you don't get a center console.

9) If you need to have your iCar maintained you must make an appointment with the Genius Bar. The "genius" mechanics employed by Apple will include highschoolers with minimal training and, if you're very lucky, one senior mechanic who knows nothing about cars but has been working on iCars long enough to actually know how to fix your vehicle.

10) Apple will sell no fewer than a million units each year due mainly to the people who wait in line to buy more than one.