We had maybe the closest Choose Your Eternity poll yet in our last Project Car Hell, with the DeSoto Firedome now leading the Studebaker Provincial by 144 to 141 votes. Perhaps that's because old non-Big-Three wagons are always cool and always hell, in roughly equal measures. Today we're going to shoot for another close race, with a pair of offerings from our favorite Chicago-based manufacturer of farm equipment. That's right- it's Scout Hell Day! Will it be the old-timey Scout 800 or the not-so-newfangled Malaise Scout II? Thanks (and a Project Car Hell Tipster T-shirt- and, yes, I know I've got a bunch of you tipsters on backorder) go out to kleinlowe for sending us the info on these fine machines!

You figure the IH Scout was a nice simple machine, built to be repaired out in a cornfield with baling wire, so where's the hell? Just buy a case of Milwaukee's Best (plus the Extra Large spool of baling wire) and you're ready to turn the most decrepit basket-case Scout into a poor man's Post-Apocalyptic Survival Vehicle, right? That's why this '67 Scout should be as easy to whip into shape as selling your corn crop to the hurriedly-built ethanol plant in the next county! There's no price, and no description other than "Does not run," but the seller thinks you should know it's a "Good hunting machine." Maybe it has an engine, maybe not... but your local junkyard offers hundreds of engine choices, from that sweet Nissan V8 out of an Infiniti Q45 to a Mopar Slant Six. It's in Minnesota, so horrific rust is an absolute certainty you might discover a bit of corrosion here and there, but you can always melt down your baling wire to make sheet metal!

Maybe you like to go into your Hell Projects with a somewhat less hazy idea of the excrement-smeared punji stakes that lay in your path, or perhaps you just prefer the thumb-nose-at-Malaise spirit of the late-70s Scout II. Either way, this 1978 Scout II meets your requirements. As tipster kleinlowe says: "He's practically done nearly almost some of the work to get this baby up and running and is already eager to bail. Chicken." Another Minnesota machine, this one has had some- but not by any means all- of its rust replaced with new sheetmetal. It has a 304 engine, which may or may not run (and don't think that it's the relatively easy-to-find AMC 304, folks; that there engine is an IH-only unit), and you get some extra parts... and no title. But don't think about the endless months of trying to replace rusty metal faster than new rust can form, or the time you'll spend arguing with DMV clerks. Think about how much fun you'll have slogging through the mud in this baby!

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