When I was a freshman in high school I was totally obsessed with Stephen King's novel, The Tommyknockers. Little did I know that the seeming sci-fi/horror tale was actually a metaphor for cocaine psychosis. I loved it regardless. Or maybe because of. Anyhow, Gard, the hard drinking main character has a nemesis he calls, "Ted the Power Man." Coincidently, I had a nemesis of my own (also named Ted) who walked around school not only with the most outrageous mullet humanly possible (and we're talking 1988 here), but wearing t-shirts depicting Jesus crushing bolts of lightning in his hands. He also reminded me constantly that I was bound for eternal damnation. We called him Ted the Power Man. What am I rambling about? Not much really โ€” old memories rattling around my ferrous trap of a mind. But if you jump you'll know who the COTD is. And why.

The winner comes out of sultry Murilee's hysterical "My dad has tools โ€” we can fix it" BMW post. People have no shame. Especially BMW owner's selling scrap metal for $0.75 a pound. The sorry, pathetic shape of the 3-series caused Solo_Racer to explain:

Ted Haggard couldn't pray this thing straight.

Amen.

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