Since we all know the secret world government is located in a bunker complex beneath Denver International Airport, a bunch of puzzle pieces fell into place when I saw this Pinto parked in the DIA rental-car lot. Yes, our cruel overlords use the roof-mounted cargo box on this car to hide their mind-control transmitter. Fortunately, I was wearing my tinfoil Homburg while picking up my rental car, and thus my mind was sufficiently unclouded to capture these photographs.

You gotta figure anyone who has this sign on their car and takes it to the airport during Panic Condition Vermillion... well, they don't worry about The Man, because they are The Man.

And what better disguise for your mind-control antennae than what appear to be diamond-plate patches over common rust areas? Clever, those Cruel Overlords!

The grenade shift knob is a fashion just waiting to hit the mainstream. Cars with column shifters could use sticks of dynamite for the lever.

Yes, a crafty camouflage job... but not crafty enough to fool Los Jalops!