LeMons Judges Believe In Honest, Out-Front Bribery, Not The Shameful Furtive Kind

Illustration for article titled LeMons Judges Believe In Honest, Out-Front Bribery, Not The Shameful Furtive Kind

So we're just now wrapping up a long day of determining which teams have blown past the $500 limit and which have blown past the limit with a good story. There's a Saab 9000 waiting for judgment and then we're done. We were a little softer on the racers than we've been in past events, with 77- and 50-lap penalties (given to a shaky-story dirt-track GM G-body and a "found in back yard" ex-race-car Supra, respectively) being the heaviest. The bribes were flowing pretty well, especially after we started painting a "BRIBED" symbol on the cars belonging to teams smart enough to purchase a little justice. Crown Royal whiskey, Patron tequila, Slim Jims, beer, the opportunity to leer at a comely bikini-clad Camaro racer, cash, and- perhaps best of all- steaks and shrimp cocktails from a mullet-clad Mustang team that rolled the grill right up to the BS Inspection area. Make the jump for the whole gallery, and come back tomorrow for more racin' action. Yeehaw!



My biggest concern about entering my XJS (other than destroying my "daily" driver) is that no one would believe that I bought it for $500. Something tells me that a printout of the end of auction emails from ebay (the only documentation that I have) wouldn't be convincing enough.

Had I the foresight to think that I would need to prove the purchase price, I would have taken screen captures of the actual auction page, but it was back in early '07, so that page is long gone.

At least it would be a guaranteed index winner if this year's Toledo entrants are indicative of what might show up next year.