In a shocking upset, the Short Bus soundly trounced the Pink Pig in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll, no doubt because it's equipped with a V8 and a 4-speed. Today we're going to see what happens when we pit a couple of Malaise Era post-musclecars against each other...

OK, so we know y'all groove on the V8/4-speed combo, so you should be all over this fine 1976 Volare Road Runner! The seller doesn't say much about its condition, other than that it "runs and drive real good," but we can see from the photos that the all-important tape stripes are intact. The Road Runner for '76 came with either a 150-horse 318 or a 170-horse 360, so you know it was all about the tape stripes. But hey, once you solve all of its 5,000 maddening small problems you'll be ready to get to work on the real problem and drop in a powerplant that won't get laughed at by 60s Road Runner owners. The seller would like to get $2500 but, given the fact that the listing is over a month old, we figure he or she is ready to listen to reason.

No worries about a wimpy smog motor when you buy this 1974 Ventura GTO, because it's done had a 455 dropped in, no doubt using a tree and some rope for an engine hoist. No, it doesn't run, but whaddya want for $1500 asking? Oh yeah, and it's got a 10-bolt rear, which will disintegrate as soon as you get any real power out of the engine. And there's rust. And the interior's completely trashed. But come on, it's got a shaker hood scoop! And since the Ventura is a Nova clone, you'll have no problem finding any of the 2,000 parts you'll need to obtain to get this project finished.

The cool thing about both these cars is that they'll irritate the hell out of tedious numbers-matching, date-code-obsessed, trailer-queen GTO and Road Runner purists. And that's satisfying. So choose your personal hell!

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