Back in '87, your options for the crappiest possible dirt-cheap subcompact boiled down to two choices: Hyundai Excel or Yugo. While that's sort of like choosing between Syngman Rhee or Josip Broz as your homeowners-association president, we've got to go with the early Excel, which was distinctly citrus-flavored but would manage to sputter along for a couple years longer than the Yugo. Here's a Canadian dealership's ad for the Excel that features perhaps the least attractive pair of "active people" we've ever seen. Nice purple Spandex, eh?

Wicked Winnipeg Fieros, eh? [internal]