In an effort to better serve Canucks weaned from the teat on Molson and deep-fried beaver, officials in Calgary have unveiled an ambulance specificially designed to carry patients weighing up to half a ton. Featuring a widebody stretcher and a heavy-duty lift, the van was constructed to ease EMTs in transporting the 20 percent of Canada's population that qualifies as obese. Calgary resident Chad Campbell, who tips the scales at 560 lbs, told CBC that it used to take four firefighters and two paramedics to get him to the hospital, noting, "The standard ambulances aren't really geared to handle situations like that." Meanwhile, the doc tells us we've got a piece of polish sassage lodged in our aorta. [Thanks to T'nderBoat for the tip.]

Canada unveils heavyweight ambulance [Breitbart]

Keep Her Away From J.J. and Victor! [Internal]