This barely qualifies, but it's by far better than the best dick joke. Yes friends, it's the intro to Hawaii Five-O, and if binoculars, jet engines, hula girls and flashing lights don't get your attention, well, we're guessing that you have little to no pulse and you might wanna see a doctor about that. Season one drops on DVD in March. Bumbeck is considering a pilgrimage to Best Buy Store 763 for purchase. The Loverman and Johnson are likely considering kidnapping their redheaded Honolulu Lulu, tossing her in a black Merc with a roll of duct tape and her early AFI 7" and waiting for the ghost of Jack Lord to come to them. Because they know he will. Also stoked, James MacArthur, Rob Younger and Deniz Tek.

Why One Needs a Mercury Park Lane [Internal]