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The cowardly Detroit Lions are the only NFL team we know of with more law enforcement problems from the coaches than the players this season. And it's all because defensive line coach Joe Cullen, hired away from the Illini by first-year head coach Rod Marinelli, has been cited twice in the last two weeks by Dearborn police for — in the first instance, "driving on public street without any clothes on. (NUDE)" and according to Lions officials involved (obvs) alcohol — and in the second instance, Cullen was apparently more restrained, and only ticketed for a DUI (we're assuming he was wearing clothing this time). Cullen's scheduled to appear in 19th District Court in Dearborn next week, and we're totally thinking of showing up — maybe even wearing "Fire Millen!" shirts. (allenparkpete, that was for you) [Hat tip to Shane on this one!]

Lions assistant arrested for nude driving and drunken driving [Freep]

Should Have Seen The Signs: Mel Gibson's DUI Has Two New Ironic Twists [internal]