Illustration: Opel

Dutch Levitating Shepards, usually known as “Dutch Lifties,” were once valued for their ability to levitate large objects over their bodies, which made them potentially useful in a number of industries. Unfortunately, they proved to be very untrainable, and were largely gone by 1960 after too many incidents of taking cars and large girders and running them around neighborhoods like lunatics. Also, they shit everywhere.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!:


<Flashback> I remember that day when dad brought home his new car and wanted to take us all out for a spirited drive to show the power of this new “hot rod” that mom had picked out for him as his new family car. Yes, he could of had that 1963 Chevy Corvette or the Porsche 911 that they had seen at other dealers but mom said that wouldn’t be a respectable car for a business man like himself.

We all loaded into the car and backed out of the drive way slowing...we sat in the street in what seemed like forever, then dad pressed the gas pedal down and the engine came to life. As a 5 year old, the power pushed me back in my seat, we were almost flying it seemed.... Then I saw Doggie, I guess she had gotten loose from the chain and came running along side of us. Slowly she passed us and ran off into the sunset. Dad then came to a stop at the stop sign at the end of our street and the look on his face I’ll never forget... defeat. That day we lost Doggie, and I think my Dad lost a little bit of himself too. </Flashback>