At $3,850, is This 1985 BMW 318i the Ultimate Sleeper?

Photo: Craigslist
Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Have you ever pondered “If I love the BMW E30 enough to spend all my waking hours with one, why can’t I spend my sleeping hours there too?” If so, then today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe 318i is right up your alley. Hopefully its price will be too.

The idea of a “Hot Hatch”—a small, lightweight utilitarian auto with a modest bump in powered engaging handling—is something that intrigues us all. We love our GTis, our Fiesta STs and our Seat Leon Cupras. What we don’t love apparently is Chevy Sonics, a realization borne out in the comments for yesterday’s 2012 Chevy Sonic LT Turbo which, to be honest, got beaten up pretty badly. So did its price, as seemingly $7,300 is too much for a modestly traveled Sonic, and it fell in a decisive 70 percent Crack Pipe loss.

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Oh well, sometimes you eat the bear and on occasion the bear eats you. You know though, you don’t want to give the bears an advantage in this who-eats-who contest, and that’s why today’s 1985 BMW 318i is such a brilliant idea.

Now first off, unlike yesterday’s unloved Sonic, the E30 BMW 3-Series is a model of car with a significant following. You’re unlikely however, to follow one quite like this, and if you did, you would certainly have remembered it. That’s because this 318i is a sleeper. No, not in the traditional doesn’t advertise its capabilities sense, but in a more literal, you can sleep in it lying down sense.

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The builder/mad genius has removed the boot lid along with the back glass and parcel tray behind the rear seat. That back bench has also been replaced with five and three-quarter foot long mattress for all your sleeping enjoyment. Above that sits a custom soft top which makes this look like the world’s most Ron Swanson-iest Touring.

If the bears do decide to snack on you while camping in this, you can just jump up front, fire it up, and drive away while flipping the rapacious caniforms the bird.

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That will be aided by the big-ass tires rolling under what’s claimed to be an “All custom suspension.” The seller describes the car as being both “Lifted and stanced” which I’m sure you find as puzzling a description as do I. You likely wouldn’t have time to ponder that however, as your attention will likely be drawn to the car’s interior.

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There you’ll find both the bed, described as the perfect venue for meteor shower watching, and a full-width seat up front. It looks like the rear bench has been promoted to front seat duty here and that the parking brake has been slotted through it in the middle. That would make for an interesting trip if you’re the poor sap that has to ride center.

If that sort of pole dancing isn’t your style, the seller says the original buckets also come with the car.

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Not included is the light-duty trailer shown in one of the ad’s pictures, but the car does have a receiver for a hitch if you want to hook up your own.

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With just 101 horsepower and 103 lb-ft of torque on tap from the 1766 cc SOHC four under the hood, you won’t be trailering much, but at least it’s there for conversation’s sake.

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Other benefits noted in the ad include an A/C system that’s been updated to R134, a rust-free body, and a huge plexiglass roof over the passenger compartment that recalls the same feature of the Jurassic Park wagons. Staying away from the T-Rex enclosure would be advisable as a result. Paint is sketchy all the way around, but the trim and lights all seem to be present and accounted for so that’s a plus.

The Bimmer also comes with a five-speed stick and a clear title. The odo reads 134,000 miles while the price tag reads $3,850.

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It’s now time for you to pick your jaw up off the floor and vote on that $3,850 price. Does that seem a fair deal for this custom camping 3-Series? Or, will both the car and the price keep you up at night?

You decide!

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Atlanta, GA Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to both Zachary Small and John Dingeldein for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Hit me up at rob@jalopnik.com and send me a fixed-price tip. Remember to include your Kinja handle.

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About the author

Rob Emslie

Rob Emslie is a contributing writer for Jalopnik. He has too many cars, and not enough time to work on them all.