When I won my high school’s “Biggest Fuckup Who’ll Never Amount To Anything, Ever, And Is Ugly” award, I swore that one day I’d show them, all of them, even if it meant cramming myself into a tiny asphyxiating 67-year-old three-wheeled deathtrap with a man vastly more successful than myself. I’m happy to say I’ve done just that, and you can watch it on TV tomorrow night.
Yes, I got the chance to re-visit my old friend and nemesis, the Hoffman, and even better, I got to do it with the King of Car Collectors, Jay Leno. Yes, I’ll be on Jay Leno’s Garage tomorrow at 10 PM on CNBC. Put that in your Betamaxes right now.
Look, here’s a promo for the episode!
I haven’t seen the footage yet, but I suspect the highlight of the show will be watching the substantially-larger-than-me Mr.Leno cram himself into the Hoffmann, which, if you’ll recall from my first drive in it a couple of years ago, is best suited for a boneless, tentacled sort of being.
My segment was shot at my favorite motor museum and, let’s be honest, one of my favorite places in the world, period, the Lane Motor Museum in Nashville. I’m very pleased with my life choices to know that when the CNBC people called the Lane and asked them who should be on the show with Jay to drive something really, really terrible, they thought of me. I’ve always wanted to be the person you think of when you think of terrible cars.
Jay is great in person, and his love and interest in cars is absolutely genuine and vast. This isn’t a rich guy collecting flashy supercars, this is a guy whose seeking out really interesting things. Jay and I had fun poking around the Lane’s incredible collection of weird stuff, and some of that even made it on camera, like where we marvel at the mind and automotive output of the always-fascinating Mr. James Martin:
This was a lot of fun and, while riding as a passenger in the Hoffmann is somehow even more terrifying than driving it, I’m really glad I got the chance to share some of the magic Hoffmann misery with some new people, who can now enjoy it haunting their dreams like it haunts mine.