Image: Dodge

Two doors is the correct number for an SUV. And they should absolutely seat no more than six people. A bench in the front and a bench in the back, plus some room for a fishing pole and maybe a sleeping bag. You don’t need fancy gear or expensive tents, because you’re a tough SUV driver with two doors. The correct number.

Do you want to use your SUV as a commuter in the city? Buy a small car.

Do you think you need an SUV because you have lots of kids and lots of car seats? Suck it up and buy a minivan. You’re not cool anymore, you have lots of kids and lots of car seats.

Two-door SUVs were once de rigeuer, but have largely gone by the wayside to fit third rows and more passenger space. Hell, there was once a two-door Suburban. And lo, it was good.

SUVs are now treated like cars, with tiny engines and big interior space. SUVs are for driving around on loose surfaces, towing boats to the lake, race cars to the track, or filling with bags of mulch from the home improvement store. It should be simple and uncomfortable to drive, like a truck with less utility. What you lose in having a truck bed, you gain in being able to fold the seats down (or take them out), and sleep inside your SUV.

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All of history’s best SUVs have been two-doors; Toyota FJ40 Land Cruiser, Ford Bronco, Dodge Ramcharger (top), Mercedes Gelandewagen, Suzuki Samurai, Isuzu Vehicross, Land Rover Defender, and Mitsubishi Montero (Pajero), just to name a few.

Two door SUVs not only look cooler, but they make the cargo area of your enclosed truck larger and easier to use. All SUVs should have two doors, and that’s the cold hard truth.