Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

How do you envision your own death? Might it be behind the wheel of something as badass as today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Mazda? Let’s find out if anyone can—or should—afford to go in this style.

You don’t have to be woke to know that there were a lot of questionable aspects to buying last Friday’s 1991 VW T4 Doka. First and foremost was the fact that the parsimoniously equipped truck wasn’t yet even a legal citizen in this great country of ours. Would you lay down cash on the word of the seller that he’d assist with the paperwork to release the Doka from the docks? No, of course not. Not for 60 horsepower you wouldn’t.


The other major issue was the truck’s $9,750 asking. That proved to be way too high, and in the end the Doka dropped in a 67.68-percent Crack Pipe loss.

Now look, we all like the occasional odd-bodkin like that Volkswagen, but we sure as hell don’t want to empty out a bank account to present our penchant for the peculiar in public. I mean, what if people point and laugh? How would we mask our penniless shame?

That is not an issue with this 1985 Mazda RX7 however. No, if anything, driving it in public will cause people to point in horror, covering the eyes of small children lest they be scarred for life at its mere appearance. Just look at it. This is not a car for people with weak constitutions, nor those with depending dependents and insufficient life insurance to cover them in the event of an untimely demise.


Yes, the car looks evil, and badass, and a little bit a little bit the dalliance of someone without too much to lose.

The car started life as Mazda’s original interpretation of a small sports car, tidy and neat, with the expected rotary engine tucked efficiently under its hood.


Now it looks like it’s seen some shit. It also presently rocks a GM 5.7-litre with an old school Holley double pumper up top and custom reverse headers to make everything fit down below.


Not everything does fit though, as the Weiland intake and 4BBL combo sit proud of the RX7’s pointy hood-line, necessitating a custom—and a bit hilly-billy—reverse scoop on the hood. Hey, it’s better than no hood at all, or a hole to accommodate the air-cleaner cut by an angry pit bull.

The rest of the bodywork is just as amazing/atrocious, your opinion likely based on which side of the valet service you sit. The paint isn’t paint but primer, and the pop-up headlights have been unceremoniously ditched for a pair of crazy small fixed units that give the car the finishing touch of Mad Maxican apocalyptic craziness. Me, I like having high beams.


The interior is actually in pretty nice shape. The seats are clean and intact, and while the plastic bits have all faded to their own personal interpretation of their original hue, they’re mostly all still there.


A Tremec T5 backs the big eight, although there’s no word on whether the pumpkin in back has been upgraded to handle something of which Mazdas are generally inexperienced, that being torque.

A poly fuel cell resides in the denuded hatch area. The battery now also calls that space home, right between the humps and next to what looks to be a gaping hole in the floor. Now, I like carbon monoxide as much as the next guy, but what’s up with that?


You might think that such a wild reimagining of a car would have resulted from an accident of other issue that affected the title, but this one is said to come clean. Mileage isn’t given, but then if you’re worried about how much life the car has left in it, you’re missing the point of this car’s existence.


That point obviously is to kill you and to ensure that when you leave this mortal plane you do so with a shit-eating grin on your face. Let’s face it, this RX7 is a middle finger in the face of propriety. It’s something you’d drive to make yourself happy at the expense of others, an abnegation of convention, civility, and eating all your vegetables.

And it only costs $2,500 to get your freak on.


What’s your take on this wild custom RX7 and that $2,500 price? Does that seem a fair deal to drive something so unvirtuous? Or, for that much, is this definitely not the way to go.

You decide!


Columbus, OH Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

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Rob Emslie is a contributing writer for Jalopnik. He has too many cars, and not enough time to work on them all.

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