We've got the police blotter timeline:
4:00 PM — Boston police cruiser stolen from police garage in South Boston.
4:30 PM — Jeffrey P. Jarosz, 51, finishes first bottle of vodka while piloting police cruiser through crowded Boston streets.
4:40 PM — Jarosz finishes second bottle of vodka and pulls over a car with sirens and lights flashing.
4:50 PM — Boston Police receive numerous 911 calls from drivers claiming a heavily intoxicated man is "yelling at people to pull over" while swigging vodka from a Smirnoff's bottle at the corners of Franklin and Bradbury streets in Allston.
5:00 PM — Metro Boston police arrest Jarosz for impersonating a police officer, attempted urination on a police officer, operating while intoxicated, and receiving a stolen motor vehicle.
No word yet on why Patrick Kennedy decided to use an alias.
Cops: Boozing 'patrolman' not one of us [Boston Herald]
Drinking and Driving in the District: DC's Booze Laws Draconian? [internal]