Kia's New Wagon Concept Is A Beautiful Tease That Probably Won't Come To America

Image via Kia
Image via Kia

Alright, Kia. Sit down. We need to talk. Sure, you’re just getting into the groove of this “cool cars” thing. That’s fine, understandable. But if there’s one thing you don’t do in this realm of “coolness,” it’s tease a beautiful shooting brake and casually mention that hey, you know, it’s probably not coming to America.

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At that point, you make yourself just like every other automaker who knows what’ll sell and what won’t in different countries. Don’t fall into that mold, Kia. Break free of it. (Please.)

Because we know how this is going to go down, it’s probably better to keep it short for the folks in the ol’ Red, White and Blue. Kia announced Wednesday that it’ll bring a new concept car to the Frankfurt Motor Show next month, and that the car “indicates what the next-generation Cee’d could look like.” The Kia Cee’d is made for the European market. That probably won’t change.

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Even with only a shadowed view of the back end, the concept looks like a huge departure from every past Kia Cee’d. Here’s the recent generation:

Illustration for article titled Kias New Wagon Concept Is A Beautiful Tease That Probably Wont Come To America

But you know how concept cars are. The production version almost never turns out as cool, which is a bit of relief for the small population of jealous Americans who will probably never get to own one.

The press release said the concept is a “new body type” for Kia—an “extended hot hatch.” That’s a wagon, or a “shooting brake” if you’re feeling fancy and like to talk in a niche way. But none of that likely matters if you’re in the U.S., because Kia didn’t mention anything about this concept car taking on a form other than the Cee’d.

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Even if the car did make it to America, it’d probably be lifted and covered in black plastic. That’s what people over here buy, which means we miss out on all of the good stuff.

America: The land of the lifted cars and the home of the cheap plastic. It’s about time we get out of here, y’all.

Staff writer, Jalopnik

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DISCUSSION

Don’t ask for anything you bastards won’t buy.

For all the talk of desiring brown manual wagons, how many of you actually bought one NEW?

None? Okay. We’re done here.