This Is The 2017 Indy 500 Milk List

A man pouring milk atop his own head. Photo credit: Getty Images

The grandest tradition in all of racing is, of course, pouring copious amounts of cool, frothy milk atop ones’ own head. It just makes sense. To that end, the Indiana Dairy Association releases a list of each drivers’ milk preference should the nearly impossible happen, and they win the Indianapolis 500. Here’s that list.

Image credit: Indiana Dairy Association

But we should just say here, before the entire world, that whole milk is the One True Correct Choice. Two percent milk is for WHINERS who are probably more interested in a balanced diet than GLORY, and skim milk is just an unspeakable, horrific miscalculation. Go big or go home. You want a certain frothy creaminess as you pour it all over your own head.

Or better yet, go with chocolate. I know it’s not an official “choice,” but the saying in racing is that if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying. Try harder, Indy drivers.

The milk this year comes from Indiana dairy farmer Joe Kelsay, from Whiteland, Indiana, and the winning crew chief and team owner will receive commemorative milk bottles from Kim Minich of La Porte, Indiana, according to the dairy association.

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Michael Ballaban

Deputy Editor, Jalopnik. 2002 Lexus IS300 Sportcross.

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