After once more falling into complete obsession with a car from the 1970s, I wondered what car I would want from today. Then I drove past a brand new S Class Coupe.

I’m not a huge fan of modern Mercedes Benzes, nor am I a huge fan of super big cars. That said, if there’s any car that totally uses the state of modern car design to its advantage rather than as a detractor, it’s this German land yacht.

Isolation, computer control of the driving experience, impossibly high power outputs — these are the features of the modern car of 2015. They make new driver’s cars a little remote, but they make a technocruiser absolutely perfect. This car, for instance, reads the road ahead with cameras and then adjusts the suspension in preparation for turns and bumps. I don’t want that in a little roadster, but I do very much want that when I’m doing a 300 klicks on the Autobahn.

I’ve ridden around in a new S-Class, and the Coupe just adds extra ‘I just signed a Gazprom contract and I can have your entire family destroyed’ vibe. I like that in a car.

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More than that, Mercedes will sell you a twin turbo V12 version, the S65 AMG. With 621 horspower, it is wasteful and wonderful in equal measure.

Here’s EVO testing it and finding out that it’s nothing but a silly tire-smoker on a track.

I’m cool with that.

Is there a cooler new car on sale today than this Merc?

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Contact the author at raphael@jalopnik.com.