What Kind Of Asshole Do You Meet At Every Car Show?

Illustration for article titled What Kind Of Asshole Do You Meet At Every Car Show?

Car shows are full of very interesting, very dedicated fellow gearheads, with information, stories, and amazing rides you'd never see outside of a meet. And then there are those guys.


I'm not going to go into the specifics, but there are just some kinds of assholes that you only meet at car shows that bring the whole scene down/bore you to tears with endless rants/make you wish you never liked cars in the first place.

What kind of turdbasket behavior do you (unfortunately) find at every car meet?

Photo Credit: Eva Rinaldi


Stef Schrader

The worst, worst, WORST human beings I ever tend to meet are the Dumb Street Racing Story Guys.

Usually, this happens whenever someone sees a female at a car meet. Hey! It's a woman! Talking about cars! WAT.

And then, of course, fully expecting that I don't know that the Fast and Furious films are works of fiction, and that I'm secretly a sixteen-year-old who still thinks this kind of fartknockery on public roads is cool, out comes the dumb.

Hi. I'm at an age where I can afford to hoon my toys legally, responsibly, and out of the way of old ladies walking their dogs along all the "fun" roads.

No, I am not impressed when you talk about rolling a Miata on a Hill Country Drive.

I'm not impressed by your third gear pulls against someone's bone stock GT-R on I-35 because a) it takes zero talent to floor a street car in a straight line in ONE GEAR and b) dude probably just wanted to be left alone in his sweet ride and didn't even know your WRX that's held together with chewing gum and spit was trying to "race" you.

I really have zero interest in meeting up in a parking lot late at night with a bunch of yahoos who are mentally twelve and don't realize how much of a bad idea it is to get on roads where other traffic doesn't expect you to be racing and have a go.

I do not care about the cars you've "smoked bro." If you had actual talent, you probably wouldn't feel the need to brag about it all the time. That's usually the case.

Seriously, the second a dude starts bragging about being a fartbutt on a public road is the second I start planning my clever exit strategy. "Oh, uh, I think I know this dude over here."

I have zero patience for braggarts in the first place, and even less so when it's all dumb stuff that's just a bad idea. Half the time, the stories don't even make sense. It's practically an insult to my IQ that they'd think I'd believe whatever comes out of their mouth, because woman or something.