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Things that won't do a burnout when tied to a tree: a dead cat, a voodoo doll, the collected filmography of Charles Bronson, marshmallows, any of our ex-girlfriends, Patrick the homeless guy down by the bodega, Jude Law's toenail clippings, Spinelli's sweatervest, Greg Ginn's guitar, pretty much anything purchased at Whole Foods, Charles Bukowski's Ham on Rye, a hairball, Moldova, Tom Araya's mouth, Lockhart Steele, Wert's Burberry scarf, the eyes of Tammy Faye, Doritos, the Ghost of Christmas Past and a box of paper. Something that will do a burnout when tied to a tree: a 1986 Plymouth Voyager.

Anything will do a burnout if you tie it to a tree [CollegeHumor]

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