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The guys at MPH, always looking out for those whose prospects with the ladies are far from assured, pose the question in this month's issue (and on the Web): Can A Car Get A Dork Laid? Our own extensive research in this department, which involved driving around Yonkers in a 1973 Buick Century sedan for most of the late 1980s, yielded reams of data, the bulk of which was the word "no" followed by between one and 2,387 exclamation points. MPH rightfully corrects our methodology by substituting a Lamborghini Gallardo roadster for the Buick and Miami's South Beach for Yonkers. Hilarity ensues, but does whoopee follow?

Can a Car Get a Dork Laid? [MPH]

Like, Omygod, Valet Girls [internal]