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Anyone who's ever held a lighter too close to one's anus after a hearty meal in San Francisco's Mission District knows what we're about to tell you the ass expels energy. What's more, bovines, huge animals that they are and quite populous in number expel a lot of potential energy out the ol' bootyhole. Now, all of the feces that led Man or Astroman? drummer Brian Teasley to dub the San Joaquin Valley "The Poo Zone" can be converted to liquid natural gas, suitable for powering vehicles. Yay! We can finally utter the phrase we've waited a lifetime to say: "Cow shit. It's not just for improptu games of frisbee anymore."

Animal Poop May Fuel Cars [Red Herring]

The Roar of the Masses Could be Farts, Part 3: Cow's Don't Create Carbon Monoxide [Internal]