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Hurry, Carlene! The holidays are outside honking and you haven't even applied your lip gloss yet! Now's the time to skip over to the Gawker store and make like dad's credit card wasn't already maxed at By-Rite Liquors. As that hard-looking woman who sometimes hangs around the 7-11 parking lot said to your brother Chet, "Don't just sit there, take that thing out and put it to some use." Run, girl. Run like the prairie wind, and don't ever look back.

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