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Does it get any more white trash than this? 25-year old Matthew Long of Benton, AR, started off his cavalcade of crashes and bangs when he rear-ended the car of a woman believed to be his ex. He then smashed his way out of the parking lot, avoiding police gunfire, striking eight cars and narrowly missing a number of people. After ditching his truck, he was captured in a nearby cemetary and pepper-sprayed. No word on whether Long's alleged ex-girlfriend is also his sister.
-Davey G. Johnson

Benton man arrested after crashing into cars in Wal-Mart parking lot [The Benton Courier]

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