Florida Man Is America's Worst Superhero

Illustration for article titled Florida Man Is America's Worst Superhero

Any time we feature some crazily awful story out of Florida, it's typically from a newspaper or local TV news headline that contains these two words: "Florida Man." As in, "Florida man arrested again for tasering ex-wife," or "Florida man bites neighbor's thumb off." You get the idea.


Whoever this Florida Man is, he's clearly insane and unstoppable. He feels no pain, has no ethics, and is capable of feats far beyond that of normal American man. It almost sounds like Florida Man is a superhero — just a really terrible one.

That's why I love the Twitter account for Florida Man, which chronicles his various exploits, arrests, assaults, property damage, and on occasion, acts of bestiality. It's being updated constantly, and here are some of my most recent favorites:


So if any of you out there run into Florida Man, be prepared for the fight of your life.

Hat tip to Mike!



If you like Flirdaman, you'll also like the Spanish version of New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Or as he is called in Spanish Miguel Bloombito, twittername @ElBloombito.

Here are some warnings for the snowstorm.

"Por favor do not que throwo los sñowballos at tu annoyingo neighboro."

"El Weathero Servico Natioñal esta predictingo el sñow accumulatioño of betweeño 6 incheros y balls deepo para Nuevo Yorko."

"Por favor to stayo safero if tu esta vamosing outsidero! El ÑYPD esta reportingo that un Yeti esta muggingo personas!"