We've seen a lot of 1980s weirdness lately here at the Classic Ad Watch studios, with especially strong showings from both the Japanese and the French. Now, though, I think it's time for a little love, American-style. Meet the 1984 Chevrolet Corvette, with its very patriotic special brand of oddity.
Let's start right at the top. The voiceover and constant musical refrain reminding us that we have never, ever, forever, ever never never ever seen a car this advanced before is just downright laughable. Remember, this is a 1984 Corvette. Yes, I suppose the world hadn't seen the next generation of Corvette, but the most advanced car on the planet? This was years after the Group B-dominating Audi Quattro came out, while the first year of the C4 'Vette was stuck with a 5.7L V8 pumping out 205 horsepower and 290 lb-ft of torque through the rear wheels.
That's okay, though. I suppose it's like how we call our national baseball championship the World Series. Maybe the Toronto Blue Jays represent the rest of the world.
Then there's the claim that it's "A new Chevrolet Corvette like never before." Well, yeah, I suppose it was a clean-sheet re-design over the old C3 Corvette, but it was still recognizable as what it was. Maybe if they'd actually put one of those mid-engined concepts into production, I'd be more willing to believe this one.
The ad goes on to say that there was a never-before-seen computer-activated manual transmission (think more like an overdrive than a flappy-paddle setup), COOL WHEELS, and even tires. All of that is very advanced.
Oh wait – is that an LCD dash? Now that, my friends, is very neat indeed. Like those Casio watches that also had a calculator on them.
To be honest, seeing ads like this makes me miss that illustrious decade. It reminds me of a simpler time, when Reagan was President, we all feared instant atomic fiery death, our Corvettes had similar outputs to a modern European diesel, and we could all believe in America and everything its factories churned out as long as we heard the news with enough screaming Stratocasters laid over it.
And hey, you could hear those Strats through four, yes four, speakers!
Like the guy said, the most advanced production car on the planet.