And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen - Jalopnik Comments

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Bad Juju — Sat, 10 May 2008 04:14:28 EDT

I've broken my share of Craftsman tools - mostly ratchets. Alright, about 1/2 the time they were being used inappropriately, but nonetheless.. My punishment for this abusive behaviour has been to deal with the lower-quality replacements. The difference between the 1991, 1996 and 2007 versions of, say the 3/8" ratchet is shocking/depressing.

My Pop has fair # of Snap-On tools, and can certainly appreciate the difference in quality.. Now that I can afford the good stuff, I'll have to be chasing down that man in the van for the stuff that counts.

Bad Juju

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

al_beaton — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:13:11 EDT

@charles_barrett: I was thinking that, but sadly my well of creative talent is more of a puddle, and having drawn on it for a couple of tool innuendoes it's pretty much dried. So "Mi dimetto, maestro." I resign, or according to Babel Fish, "I discharge myself"...

al_beaton

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

sfbmx88 — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:01:06 EDT

Its rediculous how Craftsman pumps up the number of tools in the kit, but half of them are the same size(sockets/wrenches).

sfbmx88

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

slantsick — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:37:40 EDT

@AllenK: They all do- they also have the power of prescience ("That ratchet was right there this morning, now I need it, it's gone), and the ability to "transmogrify", as Calvin would say. Ever notice when you need a 9/16 socket, you have none, even though you own 7384 sockets? Then, when you go back to your toolbox after a 5/8, you'll be confronted with 13 9/16 sockets.. I firmly believe that in most cases they don't disappear at all; they're right there in front of you, they've just... changed.

slantsick

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

slantsick — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:26:10 EDT

@A3rd.Zero: Most of the tools I've busted have been Craftsmen, in fact. These have mostly been yardsale acquisitions, however, so who knows what happened to them previously?
Personally, I purposely buy the cheapest tools I can find (got a name that begins with "Valu" or "Dura" or something even more stupid? Is your factory in Mozambique? I'm your man)- so on the rare occasions a ratchet does explode or get left on the ground under some junkyard donor, I'm not out anything.

Powertools are another story, however.

slantsick

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

AllenK — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:23:05 EDT

It doesn't have enough screwdrivers because those things grow legs and walk away.

AllenK

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

LuciferV8 — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:12:48 EDT

Excuse me, I'm going to change my underwear now...

LuciferV8

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Dr.Danger's got it all — Fri, 09 May 2008 10:02:06 EDT

I wonder how much of a deal this really is. This looks really great, but I think I could group some smaller kits and get what I want for a lot cheaper.

Dr.Danger's got it all

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Caffiend — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:57:54 EDT

[www.sears.com]

$8599.90

A bargain!

Caffiend

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

jbarrow — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:15:03 EDT

Jeff Spicoli's old man is a Jalopnik contributor? Who knew...

jbarrow

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Mazda-Eric-with-1cup-arugula — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:08:47 EDT

God Bless Sears

Mazda-Eric-with-1cup-arugula

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Uberdude328i — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:06:47 EDT

@reenignE_esreveR:

Beat me to it. I'm not really a CrapsMan fan, but it'd still be awesome to have all that in the garage.

Uberdude328i

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

wannabewannabe — Fri, 09 May 2008 08:33:39 EDT

Sweet
Jesus

wannabewannabe

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

bms — Fri, 09 May 2008 08:24:45 EDT

What is the shipping and handling on that?

bms

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Paul Y. is Going Dumb at the Sideshow — Fri, 09 May 2008 08:15:46 EDT

@PeteJayhawk: Mr. Jalopy would have pieced together an equivalent set from 50 year old stuff he found at flea markets, junkyards, and garage sales, then scoffed at this.

Paul Y. is Going Dumb at the Sideshow

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

crankcase — Fri, 09 May 2008 08:14:17 EDT

@Number_Six:
Excellent! Well done, sir.

crankcase

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Enyce — Fri, 09 May 2008 07:35:55 EDT

Where's the laptop?

Enyce

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Kuang — Fri, 09 May 2008 07:34:29 EDT

This is why we English are faced with a degree of existantial crisis on viewing so many tools in one place. We just know that in order to keep one of our national classics on the road we need ALL of those, and a few more that haven't been invented yet, but you can't carry that much shiny goodness in the boot of a roadster.

Eventually it leads to a sort of Newton's Cradle motion between the garage and the car, with exasperation and uncertainty becoming more evident with each step.

Eventually you just walk to the shop for the milk and a copy of The Times, but by then the damage is done.

Kuang

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Novaload — Fri, 09 May 2008 07:32:22 EDT

I'm nowhere near organized enough to deserve this. My favorite pasttime is looking for a flathead screw driver and finding an apparently infinite series of Phillipshead..and v.v.

Novaload

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

clinto — Fri, 09 May 2008 07:10:12 EDT

@A3rd.Zero: I have broken very few Craftsman tools.... a few sockets...... ratchets. Had a defective torque wrench once (first one I ever bought, to build the small block in my Dad's Chevelle).

It isn't the breakage.

It's the way they feel.

Ask someone who turns a lot of wrenches. When I started playing with cars as a teenager with my Father, he had some Craftsman stuff and I followed behind him. I had a reasonably large collection of their stuff, every time I needed something, I would just go buy it instead of renting or borrowing it.

But once I went to work managing an automotive repair business, things changed. After work, when I would work on my personal stuff, some of the techs would let me use their Snap-on stuff.

And the difference is night and day.

The handles are more ergonomic. They feel better. I have never hurt my hand on a Snap-on screwdriver trying to get a particularly stuck screw out. Not so with the Craftsman. I've broken one Snap-on screwdriver bit (misusing it) but many Craftsman units. I have watched my Craftsman professional series open end wrenches actually deflect (I watched it opening up as I tried to turn in, then Craftsman didn't want to replace it) trying to remove a stubborn nut on my Deuce and a half, whereas my Snap-on flank drive took it off with zero issue.

The best example I have is this:

In 1996, I found an almost new Snap-on ratchet in a junkyard (left behind). I took it and it became my default 3/8" ratchet. I also bought a new Craftsman socket set in 1996. Today, that Snap-on is 5 times tighter than the Craftsman, even though it has probably been used 500% more. Neither have broken, so I couldn't really get either one replaced as is. But the Snap-on is immensely more pleasurable to use.

Also, in the last 10 years or so, the Craftsman stuff has significantly declined in quality.

It hasn't been cheap, but I have been slowly replacing all my Craftsman with Snap-on and have never regretted it, although it has been a significant investment. My Craftsman stuff now goes to the junkyard with me in the green Army surplus toolbags and the Snap-on stuff stays in the rollaround toolboxes.

clinto

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

POLAЯZSMAЯTAMINO — Fri, 09 May 2008 07:07:21 EDT

Sears Craftsman PCH Starter Kit.

POLAЯZSMAЯTAMINO

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

suzq044 — Fri, 09 May 2008 04:02:56 EDT

.. me want.. for free plz! lol

suzq044

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Patric300sd — Fri, 09 May 2008 03:54:52 EDT

I just came

Patric300sd

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

mr.chöppèrs — Fri, 09 May 2008 02:26:01 EDT

Meh. I prefer metric.

mr.chöppèrs

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Eric Merrill — Fri, 09 May 2008 02:17:28 EDT

@WillTheThrill3:

[www.sears.com]

Ask and thou shall recieve.

Eric Merrill

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Hot_Carl — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:59:26 EDT

Just did the "O" face...

Hot_Carl

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

silentbutdeadly — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:49:48 EDT

"This next exhibit I'd like to present to the court is what fell on my client due to the inadequate shop shelving in the Sears showroom.....all Walter wanted was one 5/8 SnapOn socket...and the Craftsmand display just attacked him"

silentbutdeadly

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

HDC — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:39:46 EDT

On Sunday morning, I hope to find this under the Mother's Day flower* arrangement I didn't want. And by this, I mean the many, many boxes, nay crates, this collection must ship in. I'll spend the next month lovingly opening each box while smiling quietly to myself as I think of all the things I am going to break down to their individual components.

*especially considering that it's allergy season. Gee, flowers. Thanks. No, really, you shouldn't have.

HDC

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

cq — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:37:25 EDT

@Mad_Science: They do make non-air powered impact wrenches, I use one at my dad's actually. (I did a double-take, actually, because he has more air tools than anyone I know and built his own compressor.)

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

philibuster — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:33:55 EDT

All I ever use is a hammer and some vice grips.

On quality of tools, my wife had a total crap adjustable crescent wrench that was at least 50% heavier than the one I had. Same length, same jaw opening size, just heavier. The weight made it a bitch to use under the sink.

philibuster

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Mark Miller — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:49:11 EDT

Noticing how the much higher population is needed in the background to fill the frame reminds me of the wild WWI photo series of Arthur S. Mole and John D. Thomas.

[z.about.com]
[urbanlegends.about.com]

Mark Miller

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

A3rd.Zero — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:39:35 EDT

@Kelly: well if you won the lottery why not park the snap-on truck in bay 13 :)

A3rd.Zero

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

WheatKing — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:31:52 EDT

@2006Jeeptj: There are 2 torque ratchets in there.

Also missing (if we're gonna play this game)

Pipe wrench for the nut that got stripped by the socket that can't handle 5-1/2' of all the beans you can muster put against it.

Axe maul for when that fwd axle just doesn't want to come out of the bearing,

and that 5' crowbar that weighs 50# for getting that same axle to pop out of the transaxle.

Also missing the cooler..

4 rolls of electrical tape and a box of kleenex (because we all have had those cuts that just won't clot.. and dammit those rings are gonna get installed before going to get sewn up.. can't get any blood on the bearings though.. might gall them)

Can you tell i've had my fair share of beaters?

WheatKing

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Mad_Science — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:12:47 EDT

@something_unique_and_descriptive: No air tools? That impact wrench doesn't run on good intentions. Also note the black sockets towards the rear of the shot.

So funny to hear the "not Snap-on" comments. Seriously? I've never had a time where my Craftsman tools didn't get the job done.

I'm a bigger fan of cheap tools, so you can feel free to abuse them as the situation demands. My Craftsman stuff stays in the garage and I take the El Cheapo stuff when I go offroading.

Mad_Science

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

2006Jeeptj — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:54:41 EDT

This would be a great game as to name what isn't there. Not sure if they have a CO2 special socket (Although you may not specifically need it) and I didn't see a Torque Ratchet although it wouldn't surprise me if it was in there somewhere.

Hey, I found Waldo though.

2006Jeeptj

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

charles_barrett — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:45:51 EDT

@al_beaton: You do realize, we could build this blog thread into a best-selling novel if we were so inclined... Such is the internet. We've got Steed, Dirk, and Belinda already fleshed out... we can just roll with the rest of it...

charles_barrett

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

charles_barrett — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:47:34 EDT

@al_beaton: "...while Belinda's acquisition of a hydraulic nut splitter was enough to persuade the judge to grant him a restraining order."

"Meanwhile Dirk and Steed recruited a new HR manager who loved tools as much as they did (Jay Go Gomez) during their stay in WeHo, although 'her' size 15 stilettos and five-o'clock shadow gave Dirk a moment's pause... 'Well, nothing a spa treatment or two cannot cure...' thought Dirk... Besides, 'her' recommendations from Eddie Murphy's people were impeccable..."

charles_barrett

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

POLAЯZSMAЯTAMINO — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:47:26 EDT

...metric sizes not shown.

POLAЯZSMAЯTAMINO

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

lascauxcaveman — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:46:09 EDT

@WheatKing: And THAT'S exactly how I broke my Craftsman 22mm socket!

lascauxcaveman

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

lascauxcaveman — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:44:17 EDT

I just assumed the photo was the the COTD prize for Pope Dearthair so he can put his avatar back together...

lascauxcaveman

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

WheatKing — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:41:47 EDT

one tool missing..

the 4' piece of 2" cast iron gas fitters pipe with an elbow on the end to slide over that 3/4" drive ratchets handle with the 1/2" adapter in it so you can exert enough torque to either snap the bolt or shatter the socket on those damn PCH parts that are welded by mother nature herself.

oh sure you could just torch it off.. but you spent all your damn money on shiny tools that apparently only work on fasteners that want to come apart.. nay.. these are the tools of the garage poseur.

Real garages have sockets you buy by the caseload.. made from crap steel somewhere in china.. you know your going to break them and you don't care cause they cost $5 a ton.. their sloppy tolerances also mean they fit on the bolts with added natural iron oxide protection

Chrome vandium is just another name for "cracks at 200ft-lbs and strips the edges off the nut"

I still feel like an idiot for using those grade 10 bolts I had laying around to bolt the cat onto the car.. they've been heat treated even more now and well.. sawsall blade don't touch em, glow em red hot and the 1/2 drive and the pipe won't turn them..

yea.. think the wife will mind if I bring home a new cutting torch.. that'll fix it.

WheatKing

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Gram's Caddy — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:34:17 EDT

@X-Zambian: and we call them 'shifters' in Australia. But i used the 'monkey-wrench' name, for the benefit of our American friends.

Gram's Caddy

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

FrankGrimes — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:31:39 EDT

honestly if i ever had bags of money i would buy something like this and a roll away.
but really why would someone need like seven crescent wrenches?
I would still buy it cuz I might lose six.

FrankGrimes

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Gram's Caddy — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:28:37 EDT

@X-Zambian: You know, there are therapies that can deal with Autism. They won't cure it, but i've heard they go a long way to making life more tolerable.
....just kidding!

Gram's Caddy

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

DoctorNine — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:25:32 EDT

@Kelly: All I want is an old garage with a hydraulic lift, the little stuff is like decorations for the tree.

DoctorNine

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

way2bee — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:22:14 EDT

Based on that I can safely gain another ton or so and still call myself a man. A big fat tub of goo man, but a man nonetheless...

way2bee

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

AbulicRage — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:21:59 EDT

I always wanted to be the guy who spent days/weeks/months to get the visuals JUST right on these arrangements. Maybe that's just the OCD in me...

AbulicRage

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

P161911 — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:21:50 EDT

@X-Zambian: I was doing some translation of Japanese manuals and adjustable wrench came out of the online translation program as "Monkey Spanner".

P161911

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

joneez — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:20:17 EDT

@cgarison: Never trust a mechanic with clean tools

joneez

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Kelly — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:19:29 EDT

@A3rd.Zero:

What's funny is, I have broken probably ten different ones (a few screwdrirvers, a couple of sockets, both a 1/4 and a 1/2 inch ratchet), but I was using them either in capacities the engineers NEVER thought of, or with horribly excessive force.

I have a couple of Snap-On pieces, but they cost to much, in all honesty, given how above-average the Craftsman stuff is.

If I won the lottery, just pull the Snap-On semi up to my new 15 bay garage with three pits and two lifts, and start unloading...

Kelly

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

something_unique_and_descriptive — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:18:27 EDT

First, not Snap-On

Second, no Air tools... How do you call a tool set "Professional" if it doesn't include air tools? Go into any garage, manufacturing facility, wrecker, etc, you will find air tools.

Third, no "tamper resistant" tools... if I buy a tool set this big I want to be able to take anything apart. Where's my safety Torx, where's the split flathead thing, or the triangular bit.

something_unique_and_descriptive

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

X-Zambian — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:17:41 EDT

@Gram's Caddy:
1. I don't need 5 hammers
Any good toolbox will have far more than 5 hammers. 5 ball pein hammers is probably about right. Then there are the bigger ones for hitting recalcitrant stuff hard. Never mind the ridiculous number a panel beater might have...
You know, the Universe is built of vibrations. Everything has its own resonance, so it follows from this that in order to persuade anything to behave itself, you have to match its resonance, and you do so by hitting it with a suitably sized hammer.
5 is nowhere near enough when it comes to hammers.

2. I don't need 7 monkey wrenches I assume you mean the adjustable spanners at the front right of the picture. In the UK we call them shifting spanners. Monkey wrenches is what we call stilson pipe wrenches.
Tool names aside, I agree with you though. Real Mechanics do not need these things, since they have (several) spanners that will fit whatever sized nut is being contemplated. All one of these things will do is increase the likelihood of damaging the nut through not being adjusted correctly. That said, they can be incredibly useful on occasion, so every toolbox should have some, for those odd occasions when nothing else will do. They are just not suitable for everyday use. My own personal ones are all made by Bahco.
As to the rest of the selection. A total of 6 files, including 3 needle files. Is that all? Where are the round, square, triangular ones. If you do anything more than unbolting old dead stuff and replacing with new stuff, and actually need to use files, you will end up with way more than 6.
Sigh. Tool porn. Love it.
You simply cannot have too many tools.
Especially screwdrivers.
And hammers.
And files.
Oh yes. In South Africa the Afrikaans name for a stilson translates as Baboon Spanner.

X-Zambian

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

ZtB — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:14:30 EDT

@saeble: EXACTLY....

ZtB

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Kelly — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:13:32 EDT

Cool! Someone took a picture of the tools I've managed to lose in about 28 years of wrenching.

I want 'em back....

Though I don't see a picture of my current favorite, which I mistakenly left in a Vegas junkyard...a 10" Stanley adjustable crescent wrench which has a locking device on it to snug the jaws to the flats. It's way bitchin'. Like a Vice-Grip & adjustable wrench mated, and this is the smart mutant offspring.

Thankfully, there's Ebay, where patience can literally pay off, so the lost one has a replacement.

Kelly

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

goatrope — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:09:55 EDT

If you own a Fiat X1/9 or Triumph Spitfire, then you have just seen your starter tool kit. Don't forget the duct tape.

goatrope

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

P161911 — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:09:51 EDT

@Alphamazing: A great quote from a friend of mine: "How can you call yourself a man if you don't own at least your own weight in tools?"
Air compressors and lawn mowers can be included in the total weight.

P161911

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

A3rd.Zero — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:08:15 EDT

@clinto: @saeble:

Not to be a prick but have you ever broken a Craftsman hand tool? and if you are talking about tools being within close tollerance to spec then why arn't we talking about Proto?

A3rd.Zero

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

al_beaton — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:06:25 EDT

"...while Belinda's acquisition of a hydraulic nut splitter was enough to persuade the judge to grant him a restraining order."

al_beaton

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

clinto — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:01:49 EDT

@saeble: ditto

clinto

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

charles_barrett — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:51:52 EDT

@al_beaton: "The receipt for his new Stud Puller was all the evidence she would need."

"Dirk fought for, and won, possession of his prized purple Fleshlight in the final annulment settlement. He and his local Snap-On™ tool salesman, Steed Van Studmeister, celebrated with an extended business trip to West Hollywood, California, where they made extensive audits of the local... uh... vendors in the services sector of the local economy..."

charles_barrett

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Brian B — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:47:05 EDT

"But Honey, I can fix anything with these - and they're guaranteed for life!

Brian B

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

SeanKHotay — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:45:40 EDT

@cgarison: "... looks like my Garage in KY."

Trying to keep it from rusting?

SeanKHotay

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

FatBraff — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:44:19 EDT

reminds me of main street in Huntington beach...

FatBraff

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

milw123 — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:40:26 EDT

But it's got 2 pickle forks! And 5 breaker bars! And a jillion screwdrivers! Holy cow, that is overkill.

milw123

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

saeble — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:38:27 EDT

it's not Snap-on

+tool stiffy goes flaccid+

saeble

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

SpeedWagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:37:21 EDT

"...and in the end, the tools are yours to keep. Now I can't call you."

SpeedWagon

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

al_beaton — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:31:05 EDT

@charles_barrett: "The receipt for his new Stud Puller was all the evidence she would need."

al_beaton

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

diskreet — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:27:13 EDT

Giggity!

diskreet

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

milo_carrera — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:27:01 EDT

Ewwwww! It looks like Ironman threw up in here!

milo_carrera

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

reenignE_esreveR — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:26:33 EDT

It is a Craftsman 1470 pc. Professional Tool Set from Sears for $8600. Linked from Uncrate.com.
[www.sears.com]

reenignE_esreveR

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Impalamino — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:24:46 EDT

14 ratchets? Yeah, I need 14 ratchets.

Only one impact wrench? Cheap bastards. There better be a valve spring compressor in the back there...I think I spotted a MityVac though, that's cool.

Impalamino

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Mad_Science — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:21:28 EDT

...and you'll still need to buy a tamper-proof torx set for Harbor Freight.

Mad_Science

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

skyln95 — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:16:37 EDT

slow day at the shop?

skyln95

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

vr6john — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:14:23 EDT

@cgarison: attempted humor using standard interweb response

vr6john

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

MarkB — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:08:00 EDT

Where's the duct tape?

MarkB

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Alphamazing — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:04:03 EDT

Any guy who says that he doesn't need every single one of these tools is not a real man.

Alphamazing

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

PeteJayhawk — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:02:45 EDT

Mister Jalopy scoffs at this.

PeteJayhawk

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

charles_barrett — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:58:02 EDT

@hittatree_p: " Hey, it even comes with a purple Fleshlight!"

Wow, nothing like a tool set that lets you "work on" your most enjoyable tool as well... What lube is provided? 3-in-1 Oil...?

charles_barrett

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Number_Six — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:54:02 EDT

Roughly analogous to a large group of BMW X6 owners but far more useful.

Number_Six

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

hittatree_p — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:51:29 EDT

Hey, it even comes with a purple Fleshlight!

hittatree_p

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

charles_barrett — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:50:32 EDT

"Newlywed Belinda, casting a sureptitious glance over her husband Dirk's shoulder as he was surfing the web, suddenly realized with a suppressed shudder exactly why her Victoria's Secret teddy ensemble didn't seem to make much of an impact...

"The image of all the tools made it obvious to her that Dirk was more into Autoeroticism... She went to bed sobbing, clutching her Jack Rabbit vibrator, and resolved to call her attorney first thing in the morning to seek an anulment on the grounds of fraud and deception..."

charles_barrett

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

cgarison — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:50:18 EDT

@vr6juan: Maybe. But that appears to be a catalog image from Sears.

Also looks like my Garage in KY.

cgarison

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Tomsk — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:46:47 EDT

Tomsk

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Gram's Caddy — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:38:15 EDT

@karmakid:
"ONE BEEELYON DOLLARS!" actually its probably more like "FORTY-SEVEN MEEEELYON DOLLARS" -Ren the Chihuahua

Gram's Caddy

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

mytdawg — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:37:20 EDT

When Dave discovered he could build a new Pinto for $33,000 in parts, he ran out and bought a tool kit in preparation for the job.

And he still couldn't time it.

mytdawg

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

bzr the paranoid android — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:35:19 EDT

And it's even got a timing light too!

If it ships with a missing socket, can you get a refund too?

bzr the paranoid android

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

DucatiChuck — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:34:21 EDT

[homervoice]mmmm... tools....[/homervoice]

DucatiChuck

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Gram's Caddy — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:32:10 EDT

1. I don't need 5 hammers
2. I don't need 7 monkey wrenches
3. I don't need 8 different kinds of multi-grip pliers.
As for the rest, I think we could use all of that stuff where I work. We are so short of tools, its really quite funny.

Gram's Caddy

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

DannyBN — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:31:11 EDT

That's a lot of doohickeys.

DannyBN

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen

Starlton Heston, Gushing post-mother — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:29:56 EDT

so this picture loaded and while I stared, cars started appearing piece by piece in my living room... WTF!!! so i scrolled down... anyone want a freshly built PCH contender? It was built by teh internets!

Starlton Heston, Gushing post-mother